We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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