yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
