Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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