Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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