How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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