I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
