apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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