The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"