hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
