I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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