I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
