u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize