Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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