I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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