Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
