so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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