were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
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I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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