Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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