i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
