No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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