You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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