First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
accomplished twins. life is a go
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
