im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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