Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
a search helicopter?!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
