I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
