I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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