I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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