I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
