The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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