you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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