Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
