You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
