I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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