i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
