Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
