have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
