guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
