party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
