No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
