She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
