Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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