Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
