My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
