I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
