Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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