My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
