The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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