thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
no, he came in my armpit
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
