I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
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The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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