It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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