I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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