It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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