wrigley field is MILF paradise
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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