just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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