On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
where are my eyebrows?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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