Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
