The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
