I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have already put on my inside pants.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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