i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Farmville is her only friend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.