arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night