i'm home, then i'll come over
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"