dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
