This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge†by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
