dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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