I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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