How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
