she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
