sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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