D3 body, D1 cock
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
